I've always felt like school is a constant battle for my parent's approval. I don't care about school nearly as much as they'd like me to, and good grades always meant good moods, while bad grades meant yelling, fighting, tears, and stress. The thing is, without trying I get A's and B's. They're right when they say that if I put effort into it I could get straight A's with my eyes closed. However, I have an active extracurricular life.
I really dislike school - I put effort into things I like. I do well in english classes, but I take a lot of classes I don't really care about. Recently, I've been making stupid, huge mistakes, one of which I'm terrified might cost me my NHS membership. I was so upset - the first thing that crossed my mind was that God was punishing me for being lazy, not trying, and not getting good grades. I knew I deserved it, I was just so stressed and so incredibly angry for letting myself become like this.
Today as I was driving to my doctor's appointment, all the stressful situations I was in seemed to be drowning me, and I was crying. JoyFM was on the radio and I wasn't in the mood for sappy Christian songs. As my hand reached for the off button, the previous song ended and "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band started to play. Instead of turning it off, I turned it up because I love the song. As he went into the first verse, I started to cry even harder. When he sang "All of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory," I smiled through the tears and thanked God for sending this song at just the right time.
I realized something - I thought of God as a parent. When I did something bad I thought He was looking down on me in shame, and that resulting negative outcomes were His punishment for my sin. I was so wrong! As much as it disappoints Him, He doesn't even see the grime when He looks at me. Consequences are simply a result of my sin. When I realize how glorious God is and "how great His affections are for me," it totally eclipses my afflictions and imperfections!
It's just so wonderful to know that the creator of the world loves me so much, and is with me every step of the way. I am boggled at how non-Christians can make it through life without the knowledge of their Father.
I really dislike school - I put effort into things I like. I do well in english classes, but I take a lot of classes I don't really care about. Recently, I've been making stupid, huge mistakes, one of which I'm terrified might cost me my NHS membership. I was so upset - the first thing that crossed my mind was that God was punishing me for being lazy, not trying, and not getting good grades. I knew I deserved it, I was just so stressed and so incredibly angry for letting myself become like this.
Today as I was driving to my doctor's appointment, all the stressful situations I was in seemed to be drowning me, and I was crying. JoyFM was on the radio and I wasn't in the mood for sappy Christian songs. As my hand reached for the off button, the previous song ended and "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band started to play. Instead of turning it off, I turned it up because I love the song. As he went into the first verse, I started to cry even harder. When he sang "All of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory," I smiled through the tears and thanked God for sending this song at just the right time.
I realized something - I thought of God as a parent. When I did something bad I thought He was looking down on me in shame, and that resulting negative outcomes were His punishment for my sin. I was so wrong! As much as it disappoints Him, He doesn't even see the grime when He looks at me. Consequences are simply a result of my sin. When I realize how glorious God is and "how great His affections are for me," it totally eclipses my afflictions and imperfections!
It's just so wonderful to know that the creator of the world loves me so much, and is with me every step of the way. I am boggled at how non-Christians can make it through life without the knowledge of their Father.
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