One little problem.

I wish love came naturally to me. Of all the Jesus-like qualities for one to have, love is the hardest to get right. I'm naturally not the most social person, and meeting new people seems somewhat forced sometimes. I know how to say, "Hey! I haven't met you yet, what's your name?" But after that, if they don't open up to me, it's worthless. When I try to love people I don't feel like my motive is pure. It feels tainted with self-satisfaction; if I don't love these people who have no one to talk to, I'll feel guilty. My love is guilt-driven. There's a new boy at my school, who is in both my anatomy and pre-calculus classes, and I haven't seen him talking to anyone. Every day for the past two weeks I've been sitting in my chair knowing I should talk to him after class, but I always make up excuses for myself. Not to mention last year at lunch. There was a boy, a freshman, who sat by himself every single day during our lunch period. He was very awkward, with shoulder-length blonde hair and lips that I never once saw smile. Every day I would stare at him, knowing I should park my butt in a chair next to him and show him that he's not alone. I didn't, not for an entire year. I even know his name. Elliot. What I didn't know was what his life was like, if he had any pets, did anything outside of school, had good parents, loved Jesus, nothing. Why is it so hard to give my love to those I've never met, those who truly need it? Out of all the people at my school, why can't I be the exception?
The greatest of these is love, but it's also the most difficult.