Retreat! Retreat!

I was really excited for the CCF women's retreat that was on Friday, but I woke up yesterday (Friday) with a dark gloom over my heart. It was the good kind of gloom though, one of those days where you feel wholly dependent on the Lord, like if He let you go you would fall into absolute nothingness. During these kinds of days, my introverted self finds perfect happiness in sitting down with a Bible and a guitar, just being alone with God all day. While I went through Friday leaning on Him for support, I asked why He didn't let my excitement for the weekend carry over from the previous days. After all, He knows that on these kinds of days I'm just not myself - I don't want to interact with anyone. This retreat was suppose to be an opportunity to fellowship and build relationships with loving Christian girls. Why let me sink into this sober, reclusive state? He simply whispered, "Leah, we both know that you grow most when you are dependant on me, and only me. Come close, learn, and listen to what I have to tell you." So I did. I went on the overnight retreat, and sure enough, the words that were spoken, the lessons that were taught, and the testimonies that were given all cut me to the heart.
It is wonderful knowing you're right where God wants you; you're hearing what He intends for you to hear, you're contemplating what He wants you to contemplate, you're examining yourself and your life just the way He planned it. What a beautiful thing to fall into the arms of God and know you're in the right place. Even being at Truman comforts me in that aspect. I didn't want to go here. I had dreams of going to Drury University, but I also wanted to go where God wanted me to go. I prayed and prayed, and He shut the door quite abruptly on Drury. All I could do was rejoice because in that moment, I knew He had given me a glimpse of His plan, and I could be certain it started here at Truman.
He is just amazing, and I am incredulous that He loves me and cares enough to make sure that His plan unfolds. After all, it's better than anything I could come up with. :)

"Those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory." -Romans 8:14-17